Women

Posted: October 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

My goal is to rant as little as possible here, but let’s be fair, that’s kind of the point. So I can only hold back so much.

I will begin with the very basic concept: women are very confusing. The ones I know best make no more sense to me than the average woman on the street. The ones I’m related to no more than the ones I want to be friends with or date or possibly trick into hanging out with me. Women I’ve actually met no more so than the ones who exist only as profiles on my computer (calm down, we’re talking online dating profiles here, people). Suffice it to say, my interactions with them often leave me even more confused than I was when I went in, and often times make it feel as though I just got into a fight with some sort of wild animal (got to be careful there, don’t want to step on any toes…I’ll move on).

There’s this whole “girls really want a nice guy” thing I hear so much about. I’ve heard it a lot, whether it be from a recently jilted female friend or from someone I’m close to who is trying to convince me that my loneliness is temporary. The concept remains generally the same: girls, supposedly, want a guy who’ll be good to them. Not perfect, just good. Nice. Look, I will not claim perfection, but I think I’m a pretty good guy. I open car doors and restaurant doors and all kinds of doors. I give gifts without notice or reason. I see something that makes me think of a person I’m with (when I have the good blessing to be with someone, that is), and I can’t help but it pick it up if I have the means. And don’t even get me started on the infamous 14 Days of Valentine’s Day 2005 (unless you really want to know, then I’d love to share…it’s actually a great story)! To be blunt, I’m a pretty good freaking boyfriend. Most of the critics agree (those would be ex-girlfriends for those scoring at home). Again, not perfect, but good. And yet, at this point in my life I am really starting to wonder if I’ve lost something?

Now, to be fair, I’ve always felt myself an acquired taste. Once you get to know me, you usually love me, it just takes time and patience. I do not claim to have any skills in the meeting of new people department (one of my major flaws in this arena, I’ll grant). But lately I’ve started to ask whether I am so unappealing that the thought of accepting a free meal from me is too much to take. Do I sell myself this poorly in my own online profile? What is it, exactly, that makes it so I cannot push past that threshold and into my relationship wheelhouse?

I can only chalk it up to those darned confusing women.

Unfair? Maybe. Probably. Could I make a little more effort? Oh, I dunno, it’s possible that if I sparked a random conversation when I’m out in public it might do wonders for my self-confidence, but it’s also possible that it could have the quite opposite effect. And when you’re trying to grip onto something, the last thing you want to do is loose even one finger.

Look, I understand that as a Christian I am supposed to believe that God has His timing all worked out. And I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated when I don’t see things working out as I’d hoped. I don’t think I’ve done anything too terribly drastic in my quest to seek my future mate, but some days, I do get some crazy ideas (anyone know a billboard company in the area?), and other days I resign myself altogether. OkCupid and Plenty of Fish feel more like NoWayDufus and Plenty to Miss these days. I’ve paid for online dating. I’ve done the free stuff. I’ve tried karaoke and singing in a band. Frankly, I’ve used all my moves.

All I need is for someone to take a little interest. I swear I’m really good at the rest.

 

God bless,

Robert

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