30 (blogs) for (turning) 30: Day 13: Spring “Break”

Posted: April 26, 2014 in Uncategorized

I don’t really remember what vacation actually feels like. It’s likely, I suppose, that this is true of a lot of people, but I feel it quite strongly right now. I got back from Greenville around 3:30 this afternoon, after getting up early and spending several more hours finalizing a few things on the record. My producer still has work to do, so I’m hoping it’ll be ready for mass consumption early in the summer. More on that later. I digress.

I haven’t done anything useful since I got back home. I actually haven’t been home yet–in fact, haven’t been home since a week ago yesterday–but instead came to my parents’ house since it’s closer to church, where I have to be in the morning anyway. I’ve been watching basketball pretty much all afternoon. I actually still am. Mostly because I just feel tired and I want to turn my brain off for a while, seeing as my return to normalcy is coming sooner than I’d like.

In general, I think I’ve gotten to a point where I’m not very good at just sitting still. I mentioned this a few days ago regarding my OCD with the technology, but I think to same can be said regarding any opportunity I have to just relax. I’m not very good at it. There are things I want to accomplish, and often there’s just no time with which to get to those things, so I fill up what little free time I have with so much going and doing that I can’t relax and just feel refreshed. I don’t think that what I spent this break doing was a bad thing. Quite the opposite. I’m proud of how much work I did over 6 days, and I’m looking forward to the time when I get to share the work with everyone I know and hopefully beyond those people I know and into the general public. But in spite of all that, part of me wishes I could have taken a day and just sat and did nothing. Allowed my brain a time out. To be fair, I’m not sure if it’s possible at this point to get my brain to stop, but I’d like to try.

I’ve never been good at finding the moments of quiet or taking advantage of relaxation. I like being busy, I like having things to do, I like feeling like I haven’t wasted precious time. I’m very aware of the fact that we are only granted so much of it, so I want to use as much of it as I can as best I can. But then I miss this: ““Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10). It’s easy to do, especially when I’m involved in things that have long lasting value and a chance to make a difference. But I do think there’s a benefit to allowing for the rest. God did it when he was done creating. So maybe I should be doing the same thing now.

God bless,

Robert

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